


Reality Struck

by ender_mar



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 22:18:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1758377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ender_mar/pseuds/ender_mar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If there's anything you and the others could be accredited for, it's the fact that you never seem to have the ability to comprehend the severity of a situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Reality Struck

You're laid back on your bed with your hands behind your head staring up at the ceiling. Or, since Kimball apparently thinks everyone is a 7 year old child who needs to be assigned a roommate and a bunk bed, the bottom of Caboose's bed rather.

You don't have a single fucking care in the world right now. You and the others returned from the rescue mission yesterday. It proved to be a successful mission as they returned with all 3 of the captives, however, they were pretty beat up. Well, 2 of them were. Donut didn't seem to be in as much pain as Sarge and Wash and he didn't have as many wounds. They still sent him to the infirmary, though. That's where they all were right now. But you don't give a fuck because you checked on them 2 hours ago and they were all doing _fine_ and they're _here_ and they're  _safe._

You are  _so_ tired of worrying. You're exhausted and emotional but it's okay because you got your friends back and it's going to be so much easier now. Everything's going to be good forever. 

You let out a loud sigh of content and think about how great everything's going to be now that you have Wash and Sarge to help lead the troops. You think about how you're FINALLY going to be able to sleep at night and not have stupid nightmares and shit. It's all so wonderful. You just need a minute to take it all in. You close your eyes and recline back further until you're laying flat on your back with full intent on falling asleep. Kimball said to take a break, anyway. 

You're laying down for about a minute and a half when there's a banging on your door. You wait a minute before answering so that you can determine who it is. After a few seconds, your visitor knocks again, loudly. It's either Felix or Simmons. 

You get up and walk over to the door opening it lazily.

It's Simmons.

Man, you're getting good at this.

"Uh, hey."

You stare for a moment, waiting for him to continue.

He doesn't.

"What is it?"

He rubs the back of his head and looks away.

Now you're worried. If motormouth can't muster up the strength to tell you what's going on then something's going down and it's probably not a good thing.

"Simmons, what is it? What's wrong?"

He snaps his attention back to you with eyes wider than they had been before.

"I'MSORRYICAN'TDOITI'LLBERIGH- SOMEONEWILLBERIGHTBACKIHAVETOGODOSOMETHINGBYE."

He forcibly closes your door and leaves you standing there confused and worried.

What the fuck is going on?

You shrug and decide that it's probably not a lot to worry about. Maybe Grif tried to get him to pull some stupid prank and he couldn't do it. 

You sit back on your bed and stare at your feet for a minute with empty thoughts. Boredom kicked in. You stand up and decide to go for a walk. When you reach the door and open it to exit your room, Kimball is standing there. She jumps a little and steps back allowing you to exit your room.

You step outside and reach behind you to close your door, asking her what the fuck she's doing.

She straightens up and clears her throat, looking you dead in the eye. Your spirit is already dampening. She hated being the bearer of bad news, it was always obvious. But, with how long she's been leading this army and how many hearts she's had to break in the process by passing along to a soldier the fact that their teammate won't be coming back or telling the reds and blues the cold hard truth as they've never received it before, she's grown use to it. Or at least, you thought she had.

"It's about Agent Washington." She's careful not to pause anywhere in the sentence so that when her words begin to show effectiveness and your reaction's begin to show on your face, she won't have time to feel bad for it.

"He was in horrible condition compared to Donut and Sarge when we brought them in. He had a large amount of blood loss and multiple wounds scattered on his legs and upper body. He had 2 broken ribs and it appears as if he was chewing on the inside of his mouth and tongue as the inside of his cheeks are nearly mutilated and his tongue has countless bite marks. He probably did it as a way to escape the pain of the torture that Locus was putting him through. The main reason I've come here to talk to you is because there's a very good chance that Agent Washington may not survive, Captain Tucker."

Her voice fluctuates a bit when she says your name. When she's done talking, she immediately looks at her feet.

You're just staring at her, not believing a word of it. You checked on him a few hours ago. There was no medic around to  confirm it at the time, but he looked fine. He wasn't conscious and he looked a little pale, but he was alive and he was here and he was alive and he was still breathing and he was ALIVE.

"He's not going to die." 

Kimball looks up at you with pity on her face. She stands there for a moment more, her mouth opening to say something that never comes out. She straightens up again and nods, walking down the hall to exit the bunks. 

You stand there for a moment more. Trying to tell yourself that he's going to be okay. Trying to find a way to force what ever being that controls life to MAKE him be okay.

You JUST got him back. You haven't even had a chance to talk to him yet. 

You break down out of no where. You slam your fist against the wall and slowly fall to your knees, tears streaming down your face. You're not making a sound. You're keeping a straight face and staring at your fist. You're sitting on your knees in the middle on this empty ass hallway crying over something that is going to be stripped from you when you've barely even had it for a day.

You stay there for a good thirty minutes, blocking out the sounds of the soldiers that exit their rooms to leave for the mess hall as lunch approaches. You think Palomo came by and asked you what was wrong at one point, but you didn't hear it nor do you care.

You get back on your feet and decide that you need to get this over with. You know damn good and well that if there's ANYTHING that you and the others should be accredited for, it's the fact that you NEVER seem to have the ABILITY to comprehend the SEVERITY of a situation, and you're tired of it. You need to stop tricking yourself and get it over with. You should have KNOWN when you got back to base that there was a chance that they wouldn't make it. But no, you and Simmons and Caboose and Grif and the Lieutenants just celebrated. You spent the night in the infirmary with Donut, as he was the only one conscious at the time. You spent the night walking two rooms over every now and then to look at Wash and determine whether or not he looked okay, to which the verdict was always "he's fine". You spent the night goofing off with Grif and Simmons and Donut with a heavy Caboose leaned against you sleeping. You went to bed at 4 A.M. and woke up at 1 P.M. and you checked on Wash again and he looked FINE. Sarge was awake and Donut was approved to walk around and Wash was FINE.

You walk to the infirmary to sit with Wash, to check up on him again, hoping it's all a lie and you're having another nightmare. You're still trying to force yourself to comprehend the fact that he's probably going to die and there ain't shit you can do.

You reach Wash's room and open the door quickly, only to find the room is empty. You stand there for a second, trying to figure out if they moved him or what. You hear a voice behind you. 

"Tucker..."

You turn and see Grif, Kimball, Palomo and Bitters sitting in the small waiting room that consisted of 6 chairs and a crate for a table. You must have walked right past them.

"Tucker, Wash..."

You stare at them. Kimball struggling to finish her sentence, Grif staring at the wall in disbelief, Palomo tearing up and throwing you a sympathetic look, and Bitters staring at his feet while glancing up every now and then to see if Grif has changed his expression at all.

You try to finish it for her. Kind of.

"Were you telling me that Wash is in a bad position, or were you trying to cover up the fact that he's already gone?"

The forwardness in your voice is so surprising given the situation that even Grif turns his attention away from the wall to look at you, causing Bitters to look up again.

Kimball closes her mouth and just stares at you with the most saddening expression you've never seen a person make.

You nod and decide you'll cry later. You'll get angry over the fact that they didn't tell you and you didn't get to say a final goodbye later. You'll kick yourself for not caring more later. You try to find something more relevant that all of that.

"Does everyone know." You pause for a second. "That cares, I mean."

Grif is still staring at you and Palomo has brought his knees up to his chest as if to hide from all this.

Kimball won't look you in the eye anymore. 

"Captain Caboose hasn't been informed. Neither has Smith. I've sent Jensen to tell him and gave her permission to tell Caboose as well."

You half nod half shake your head. "I'll tell him."

Even the doctor that was standing adjacent to them working at the counter top has turned to give Tucker a questioning glance at this point.

You ignore the stares and walk to find Caboose.

You don't think anyone else has the experience to tell him what's happened and actually have him understand it.

You search all around the base and even stop to ask Felix and Jensen at one point if they've seen Caboose. They both say "no" and then Felix bombards him with questions about how he's holding up that's just lined with sarcasm based apathy. You ignore  them and continue searching for Caboose. 

Eventually you're lead back to your room and you find Caboose sitting on the floor with no armor on. He's reading, or attempting to read, what looks to be an instruction manual of sorts. 

"Caboose?" 

He turns his attention towards you. "Oh, hey Tucker! What're you doing?"

You force a small smile at him and shut the door. 

"We uh... we need to talk."

You sit down on your bunk and invite him to sit next to you by patting the mattress. He plops down on your bed and you exhale ready to begin the small and simple speech you've planned in your head.

"Something... happened. With Agent Washington." This catches his attention.

"He's uh. Something happened, and he's not gonna come back."

He tilts his head, looking slightly worried. "Is he okay? Does he need help again?"

You shake your head slowly. "No he's just not coming back, Caboose." You lift your head up a bit and stare at your desk pushed against the wall on the opposite side of the room. "He kinda did what Church did, you know? He had something to do. He couldn't say goodbye."

Caboose is looking at his hands now. "He's gone?"

You nod.

"Yeah, he's gone." 

You try to stop the tears from falling but they don't listen to your internal pleas. 

Caboose notices and gives you a small pat on the back.

"It's okay, Tucker. I know how it feels to lose a best friend."

You suddenly feel bad that he's focusing on your feelings now. 

You shake your head. "Yeah, you do. I'm sorry Caboose."

Caboose awkwardly keeps his hand on your back. There's a moment of silence and you swear that you would rather have died back during the rescue mission than be in this position right now.

Caboose breaks the silence. "At least we still have each other, right?"

You choke out a small laugh and look up at the taller Blue with a goofy smile on his face, you just notice that he's crying too. He apparently just hides it a lot better. Or he doesn't realize that he's even crying. Probably the last one.

"Yeah, we still have each other." 

Caboose's smile widens and he wraps you in a painfully strong hug. You open your mouth to scold him but decide that it's okay. Just this once.

You're pretty sure Wash would've preferred this reaction over hours of silent screaming and pain-staking memories.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

 

Everything's calmed down now. It's been about a month and a half since Wash died. Sarge is helping out with training and Donut has decided to join in on Simmons' Squad to help him out. He switches to Caboose's Squad every now and then.

You're glad that everything turned out like it did. You still have heart throbbing memories that attack you in the form of nightmares and you still cry about it every now and then, but you're glad that everything turned out this way.

You're glad that Caboose understood, you're glad that you still have Donut and Sarge, you're glad that the Reds seemed to have been shoved into reality with the incident since they clung to Sarge and Donut like their life depended on it afterwards,

and you're glad that Washington may have not died in vain after all.

**Author's Note:**

> this isn't the best i just felt like writing and it's kinda rushed sorry


End file.
